a tale of two rides

May 24th, 2009

Two 80 mile rides under my belt now and they could not have been more different.

The first was two Saturdays ago out in the East Bay.  The route was a big loop starting in San Ramon, then out to Livermore, Sunol, Pleasanton.  To say it was hot would be an understatement, I heard that the temperature out on the road reached 105 degrees.  It was one of the most grueling physical challenges I had ever tackled.  There were some tough climbs, Altamont Pass and Palomares Canyon.  Palomares came about 70 miles in when I was already spent from being out in the sun for so long.  About half way up the 5 mile climb, I had to stop and I broke down into uncontrollable tears.  Part of it was from frustation and being tired.  And the other part of it was from being so amazed at what I was accomplishing that day.  Not too long I would have never imagined ever being capable of riding like that and so far, in those conditions.   Just as I was having my breakdown, the SAG vehicle pulled up.  As tired as I was and as tempting as it was, getting SAGged to the top was not an option.  After getting that frustration out, I felt so much better and was able to steadily climb to the top.  Speaking of SAG, there is no way the ride would have been possible without the incredible support out there that day.  There was water and ice pretty much at every point that I needed it.  And as always, plenty of awesome food at every SAG stop, even Otter Pops at one… so genius!

Yesterday’s ride was in Marin.  The route went out on Lucas Valley Road to Pt Reyes, then Olema, Stinson Beach, Nicasio and back to Lucas Valley.  It was overcast and cool for most of the ride, I definitely should have opted for kneewarmers.  Talk about contrast, instead of needing ice, I needed hot coffee in Pt. Reyes Station to warm me up.  Though thanks to the cool weather, I stayed strong and fast the entire time.  I love riding in Marin, even in the fog, it is so breathtakingly beautiful.  There are so many fun hills and rollers.  The best part of yesterday’s ride was being able to ride the roads that we had trained on before and see the progress we have made.  The first time I climbed up along the Nicasio Reservoir, I had to stop halfway… I seriously thought I was going die on that hill.  Yesterday, Nicasio Reservor was a piece of cake, it was just a bump in the road.

But what I take from both rides is the same,  I am amazed at how far I have come since starting this adventure back in February.  I am so much stronger now and continue to surprise myself at just how strong I am.  What I feared the most when I started the cycling, the hills (both up and down), have now become my favorite part.  I love climbing up the hills, I think it’s now one of my strengths as a cyclist.   I have to admit it is incredibly satisfying to pass people uphill.  And not that it’s happened often, but I’m sure boys don’t like being passed by a girl in a skirt.  :)   And for the downhills, I started absolutely terrified.  On our first ride, I rode the brakes and wouldn’t let myself go faster than 17 mph on the one tiny downhill on that ride.  But at some point, I learned to let go of the fear and just go.  Yesterday, I hit my new top speed of 37 mph and it was such a rush to go careening downhill.  (Though don’t tell my mom that, especially after my brother tells me he just had a mountain bike crash.)  I’m eager to go back to some of the hills we trained on earlier and see how I fare now… the Calavares Wall, the Three Bears… I don’t think I’ll be dizzy at the top of Papa Bear now.

So all the hard work is done, the longest training rides are behind us.  In 2 weeks, I’ll be in Tahoe riding 100 miles in America’s Most Beautiful Bike Ride with my amazing team.  In February, I could have never imagined riding 100 miles.  Even halfway through the season, it didn’t seem like a reality.  But after these two 80 mile rides, I know I am ready.  I can’t wait!  And most importantly, I will ride in Tahoe to honor so many people who have been affected by blood cancers.  A huge thank you for supporting me and donating funds to help patients and find a cure!

But the fundraising doesn’t end until there is cure!  So please support me as I train for my first triathlon, the Triathlon at Pacific Grove.  Visit my fundraising page at http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/pactri09/frances.  Thanks so much and GO TEAM!

i’ll be out there on the sea, just my confidence and me

May 16th, 2009

Again, I am awake when I should be asleep.  (80 mile ride in the morning!)  But this Friday night it’s different.  That gray cloud that had been hovering over me has lifted.  I’ve been spending the last few days focusing on how great this life is and trying to keep a positive attitude.  It clicked on the bus after work today and then I just grinned like a fool the rest of the ride.

“Think it, be it.”

That’s what the post-it over the desk in my bedroom says.  I put it up there right before my first marathon in 2007 to help prepare for the challenge I was facing.  If you think you’re in pain, you’ll feel it.  If you tell yourself you are strong, you will be.  Call yourself a marathon finisher and you’ll do what it takes to get to the finish line.  But I left the post-it after the race, because it is such a great reminder of how to live life everyday.   Tell yourself that you are happy and you will be.  It’s not instantaneous, but you make the adjustments needed to make it happen.  Something missing?  Tell youself to go get it then.

Which is just what I’m going to do.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, life’s gonna seem a whole lot longer than you like.

May 14th, 2009

Name the movie.

I like to think I learn from my mistakes, lately though I feel like my life is a vicious repeating cycle.  But even if I don’t learn my lesson, I’m at least able to laugh at myself.  I was recently telling someone of one of my more amusing stories of getting dumped.  The conversation just snowballed and we couldn’t stop laughing.  So for your entertainment, here’s a few of the more memorable tales of Frannie being dumped:

  • I was at a party and so was the guy I had been seeing… I had sensed that he was losing interest, but I was young and stupid and in complete denial.  It finally hit me when I found him making out with someone else at the party.  But what’s funny about this story is that in an effort to cheer me up and distract me, my friends took me to a movie the next day… Titanic.  It also happened to be Valentine’s Day.  I don’t know how we possibly thought that was a good idea.
  • There was the time my boyfriend paged the girl he was cheating on me with from my house with my phone number.  Except that she didn’t call back until after he had left my place.  Yeah he wasn’t very bright.  Oh pagers, remember those?
  • I was stood up at a Death Cab for Cutie Concert.  Had I known, I should have just sold his ticket.  And luckily that didn’t taint my love for DCFC, they are still one of my favorite bands.
  • The guy I was dating called me as I was heading out to meet friends for dinner.  He asked me to come over after dinner because “we need to talk”.  I knew exactly what was coming so I spent the whole of dinner getting drunk.  I was gearing up to put up a fight.  When I arrived, he had milk and cookies right out of the oven waiting for me… to soften the blow.  Well who am I to argue with milk and cookies.
  • And let’s not even get into how Facebook has made dating a complete mess.

If there’s one benefit to being single and dating, it’s all the great stories you get.  I’ll have to compile the nightmare dates for another entry.

So I’m supposed to have a date with someone next week.  I am not enthused nor am I optimistic.  I’m kind of seeing it as a chore at this point.  I know, how horrible is that?  I’m not even giving this guy a chance.  But I’m taking the advice of my friends and being less picky and trying to meet more people.  And if anything, I’ll probably get yet another story out of this date.

insomnia

May 9th, 2009

I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep.  I’ve got a flight to Vegas in the morning and I’m actually not all that excited about the trip.  It will be great to see Drea and hear some great music. But I’ve been in a funk and it’s killing the joy from a lot of things… which has just been so  aggravating.  My life is so full of amazing things.  My job is truly rewarding.  I’ve been cycling, rowing, and running like a fiend.  I have such amazing friends and we take advantage of all the city has to offer.  I am so grateful to lead this life and be where I am today.  But I feel it’s all superficial, that I make myself busy in an attempt to fill a void.  At the end of the day, what it comes down to is that I’m lonely.  There, I finally admitted it.  I don’t like this.  For an independent person like me, it shouldn’t be a frightening concept to be on your own for awhile but it is.   I keep waffling between wanting to just give up and stop trying or to keep putting myself out there and continue to be hurt and disappointed as seems to be the trend in my life.   What the fuck?  I’m too young to be jaded.   I miss the the optimist, where did she go?   I used to have so much faith … that it was just a matter of right place, right time, that it’ll happen when it’s meant to, and to just have patience.  As I get older though, the thought of being alone gets scarier.  And having lived and experienced more, I beome increasingly confident and sure of exactly what I want… which just seems to narrow things down,  pitting the odds against me, making dating even more of an ordeal.

I know this will pass, because it has to.   I know can’t go on feeling like this for too much longer.   But for now I’m letting myself feel the things I wasn’t letting myself feel before.

i’m a finish line junkie

May 4th, 2009

That’s my vice.  And now racing season is finally upon on us, yay!  My tentative race schedule for the year:

  • June 7:  America’s Most Beautiful Bike Ride
  • July 12: US Rowing Southwest Regionals
  • July 26:  San Francisco Half Marathon
  • August 1: Marin Metric Century Ride  (50k, maybe the 100k if I can train hard enough for it)
  • August 30: Plate to Plate 5k Run
  • September 12: The Triathlon at Pacific Grove, Olympic Distance
  • October 11: Long Beach Half Marathon

After spending this last weekend camping with the TNT triathlon team at the Wildlflower Triathlons, I became convinced that I needed to add triathlon to the picture sooner rather than later like I was originally thinking.  As I watched the athletes tackle the swim portions of their race, I thought, “Damn, there is no way I could do that.”  But that’s exactly what I thought about long distance running, and again for long distance cycling.  And of course, each time I overcame my doubts and quickly fell in love with both.  I know swimming is going to be the most difficult challenge of any sport I have tackled.  But that will just make the victory even sweeter.  I can’t put my finger on exactly what the appeal is… the chance to haul ass on the bike, to push myself outside of my comfort zone with swimming, to test mental and physical limits.  I don’t know, but I know I have to do it.

misadventures on match

April 27th, 2009

Call me harsh, but I chose chose to ignore a match.com message from someone because he obviously does not know the difference between you and you’re.  His profile has 3 separate violations.  So obviously not a typo.  How does someone who claims to have multiple graduate degrees get that so wrong?!

It’s too bad really, he seemed pretty cute.   Told you I was picky.

Oh and to the guy in Missouri, um no, I will not be your penpal.  What part of  “seeking someone within 15 miles of San Francisco” do you fail to understand?

my murtaugh list

April 22nd, 2009

Yes, age is just a number.  And I truly believe you are as young/old as you want to be, it’s all perception.  That being said, there are definitely things that either I just can’t hang with or are just wildly inappropriate now that I am 30.  Inspired by the recent episode of How I Met Your Mother, here is my Murtaugh list:

  • Jagerbombs… or any drink with the word “bomb” in it.  They result in just bad news all around, especially the next day.
  • Flip flops at work… Yeah I get it now, not exactly professional.  I finally gave up the constant wearing of flip flops, it wasn’t easy but I accept it.
  • Road tripping across multiple state lines for a concert… How did I ever have that much time?  I’ll just book a flight now, thanks.
  • Keeping with the concert theme, waiting in line for hours to be front row center.  As amazing as it is, to keep your spot in the front, you sacrifice access to the bathroom and more importantly, the bar!
  • Going on a date just for the free drink/meal.  Yep, guilty.  So ridiculously selfish… and at times lead to some not pleasant moments in my dating career.
  • Short, short skirts paired with Ugg boots.  I finally understand how ridiculous this look is.  But damn I looked cute in that cutoff denim mini skirt and you can’t deny that Uggs are so comfortable.
  • Dancing until dawn.  I can’t believe I ever had that much energy.  Even if I wanted to and was fueled on Red Bull, my knees would not have it anymore.
  • Dancing on top of furniture.  Oh my former favorite drunken past time.  Ironically, I would probably be in better shape if I fell off a piece off a piece of furniture today… I have excellent health benefits now.

So what’s on your Murtaugh list?

21st century breakdown

April 13th, 2009

Except for a few exceptions (ie finishing my first marathon), the greatest experiences in my life have all been music related.  I’ve been lucky enough to have performed all over the country and across Europe.  I’ve also been so lucky to have seen so many of my favorite musicians all over country, and yes, in Europe too.  Let’s count down my top five concert moments (at least as I am feeling it now):

5.  Ryan Adams and the epic set @ the Fillmore (2004)

4.  The week long Jason Mraz tour of England (2003)

3.  Matt Nathanson @ the Iron Horse (2004), I have never laughed and cried so much at a show ever… or Matt headlining the Warfield for the first time (2008).  Hmm can’t decide.

2. The Rock Boat (2004)… cruising the Caribbean with my favorite bands and bestest friends!  (Oh the all night jam session where I rocked out on top of the table for hours… and almost fell off said table when Justin from Ingram Hill made eyes with me.*siiiigh*)

And the new #1, Green Day last Thursday @ DNA Lounge!!

After I couldn’t get tickets to either the Green Day show on Tuesday at the Independent or Thursday’s at DNA Lounge, I was pretty bummed.  I just figured my Green Day karma was all tapped out.  I had some pretty damn good luck at the Green Day/Jimmy Eat World show at AT&T Park and was happy to have that be my greatest Green Day experience ever.  But the concert gods thankfully had a different idea…

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little boxes

April 8th, 2009

I am a sucker for organization.  I love having my life all sorted out alphabetically, chronologically, in lists, in boxes, etc.  (Though this does not apply to laundry.  Clean or dirty, I can never seem to get laundry to where it should be. )  My iCal is the epitome of my OCD-ness.  It is of course color coded, a color for each area in my life.  There are currently 9 colors in my calendar.  Normally when you look at any given month of my calendar, it’s an explosion of color.  Purple usually the predominant color, I give you one guess what purple represents.  But looking at April, it’s more like when you get to the bottom of a bowl of Fruit Loops…. a puddle of milk with a few remaining Loops floating around.  I should be enjoying this down time while I have it, starting in May my life gets crazy again and won’t let up until… oh next April, most likely.  But a huge part of me loves the crazy and is actually missing it right now.

I realize that I miss the busy because I need it.  As I get older and understand myself more and more, I realize that I am truly a kinesthetic person.  I am at my best when I am in motion, moving from one thing to the next, to the next.  I can’t sit still, ever.  In Italy last month, as hard as I tried to sit, enjoy my meal and wine, and watch the people, I was just eager to get up and find the next thing.  It’s why I can’t meditate and don’t enjoy yoga.  You want me to sit perfectly still? hold that pose for how long?!  Don’t think so.  Rowing, running, cycling… that’s my meditation.  It’s probably why I’ve blogged so much this week, to keep the mind and fine motor skills in motion.

But tonight, you’ll get me to sit still for an hour…

LOST!!!  Well the hour minus the commercials.

And can I please take this moment gush about hot Sayid is and how he just seems to get hotter?!  *siiiiiiigh*

the pretty and not so pretty

April 8th, 2009

Another day another ride on the 1bx. It’s always great people watching, the eye candy never fails to disappoint. The 1bx picks up in the Inner Richmond and Upper Pac Heights and then goes straight to the Financial District. I’ve heard this bus referred to as the designer bus, the Banana Republic bus, I like to call it the pretty people bus. It’s that blog Stuff White People Like in the flesh… Blackberries, iPhones, the WSJ and NYT, North Face jackets, designer eye wear, messenger bags (like the one this girl keeps bumping into me with, argh the bus is not that crowded!) I laugh at it all, at myself especially.  When did I become a yuppie cliché?!

And now on to the second part of my commute, hello contrast.  After the 1bx, I am now MUNI underground to Civic Center.  (Yes, this is strangely enough the fastest way to work in the morning. )  Let’s just say this is where the ride  gets  ”diverse”.  Oooh a hottie with a skateboard just got on….  Sorry,  easily distracted.  I see pretty much every slice of life on my commute, staring with the well to do and ending with those who are lost and have been forgotten.  It’s a daily reminder of  how blessed I am and that there are so many that are in need.

Time to wrap this up and hide my phone, so I don’t get mugged.  Just another day in the Civic Center.